I feel stuck.
Like I’ve been in the same situation too many times and I can’t believe im back. Distraction clearly doesn’t work for me. It’s an immediate remedy, but it doesn’t last long. I always fail the marshmallow test.
Ive been having an “irritable bowel” for a couple of weeks now. Yep. Wish I pooped glitter. It’s definitely not colorful and shiny, definitely not something I ate--
It’s another car problem, another unpaid bill, another house problem, another failed relationship, another step back in my career. And it all had to happen in 2 weeks. Has it only been 2 weeks? It feels like a year.
I’m 27 and I feel like im going nowhere. I feel stuck. Like I felt stuck 6 years ago when I shifted from one course to another, afraid to accept the change but excited for new beginnings. When I started making my own money and thought “hey, maybe I don’t need to finish school because im already earning enough anyway”. When I was getting over a bad break up and finding myself in the process, when I started paying my own bills , my own tuition fee because , well, I was already making money.
I was young..youngER, I had so much time. I had so much time to waste. I had enough time to get into another relationship, to find a new career path, to make more money and save up enough so that by the time I reach 30, ill be comfortable and successful, and safe.
Now Im 27, before I know it, ill be 30… and im not where I hoped I would be. I feel like im running out of time.
For a while I thought I was doing okay, I had work, I thought I knew where I was going. Id meet new people, make new friends.
I got into a new relationship and for the first time ever, I thought that was it. I was preparing for the future, ready to settle down. I would just keep doing what I was doing and save up. I thought I was comfortable, I felt safe. Then I kind of lost myself in the process. How do you even explain “losing yourself”? I don’t know, but that’s just how I feel.
It now seems like my being “okay” was just an illusion, an idea, an image I created in my head and believed for so long that I failed to see what was really happening.
I always seek change, but im also always so afraid to face it.
This constant need for change is not getting me anywhere. It’s ridiculous.
Do all 27 year olds feel this way? Does everyone feel as lost as I do? Stuck and lost? What have I been doing the past 6 years? What was I so busy with? What is this feeling really all about? What has to be done to get over it?
I wish id just pooped glitter. I need peanut butter and chocolates. Im gonna go get me some. Come with me?
***Doble Cara Rant #1
Like I’ve been in the same situation too many times and I can’t believe im back. Distraction clearly doesn’t work for me. It’s an immediate remedy, but it doesn’t last long. I always fail the marshmallow test.
Ive been having an “irritable bowel” for a couple of weeks now. Yep. Wish I pooped glitter. It’s definitely not colorful and shiny, definitely not something I ate--
It’s another car problem, another unpaid bill, another house problem, another failed relationship, another step back in my career. And it all had to happen in 2 weeks. Has it only been 2 weeks? It feels like a year.
I’m 27 and I feel like im going nowhere. I feel stuck. Like I felt stuck 6 years ago when I shifted from one course to another, afraid to accept the change but excited for new beginnings. When I started making my own money and thought “hey, maybe I don’t need to finish school because im already earning enough anyway”. When I was getting over a bad break up and finding myself in the process, when I started paying my own bills , my own tuition fee because , well, I was already making money.
I was young..youngER, I had so much time. I had so much time to waste. I had enough time to get into another relationship, to find a new career path, to make more money and save up enough so that by the time I reach 30, ill be comfortable and successful, and safe.
Now Im 27, before I know it, ill be 30… and im not where I hoped I would be. I feel like im running out of time.
For a while I thought I was doing okay, I had work, I thought I knew where I was going. Id meet new people, make new friends.
I got into a new relationship and for the first time ever, I thought that was it. I was preparing for the future, ready to settle down. I would just keep doing what I was doing and save up. I thought I was comfortable, I felt safe. Then I kind of lost myself in the process. How do you even explain “losing yourself”? I don’t know, but that’s just how I feel.
It now seems like my being “okay” was just an illusion, an idea, an image I created in my head and believed for so long that I failed to see what was really happening.
I always seek change, but im also always so afraid to face it.
This constant need for change is not getting me anywhere. It’s ridiculous.
Do all 27 year olds feel this way? Does everyone feel as lost as I do? Stuck and lost? What have I been doing the past 6 years? What was I so busy with? What is this feeling really all about? What has to be done to get over it?
I wish id just pooped glitter. I need peanut butter and chocolates. Im gonna go get me some. Come with me?
***Doble Cara Rant #1
We're all allowed a certain amount of sadness . As long as you get back up and dance again. And just keep dancing.